Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Chubby Chasers: A Future Federal Agency?

As the USA stumbles inevitably towards its fascist destiny, blithely ignoring all the lessons of history I can't help but wonder if there will ever be a saturation point? Is there anything the feds will stop short of? Is there any War On _____ that will hit too close to home for even the slickest politicians to weasel out of? Personally I think it's gotta be the War on Fat. Nobody cares that much when minority groups have their rights bulldozed by the feds, but when the time comes when being overweight is illegal how will fat politicians possibly legitimize that? Fat people are the majority! America is large and in charge. JimSensenbrenner wants to make sure your papers are in order with his Real ID horseshit, but one look at the jowly mug of this creep and it's hard to imagine this guy pushing a fat crackdown. It would look very bad. I know, we're talking about professional hypocrites here, but somehow I think they'll stop short of the fat war.

All the other crackdowns middle America seems to be perfectly happy with. Yeah, go bust the pot smokers, the cigarette smokers, teenagers who have voluntary sex and get busted for mutual rape, go ahead and bust those terrible Mexicans who come here ILLEGALLY (*gasp*!) go ahead and bust down the wrong people's doors looking for naughty drugs, go ahead and strip search me at the airport; we're Average Americans, we don't give a shit! As long as the Other Guy is getting fucked we don't give two shits, right? But ahh, what's this now? Going to jail for being fat!? Mandatory federal exercise programs? Taxes levied per pound? Food bans? Wait a minute, I'M FAT! NOW I'M A CRIMINAL TOO!!! Oh no! The sky is falling, the sky is falling!

But we're not going to do anything are we? We are gonna wait until the jackboot has got our oesophaguses halfway crushed before it dawns on us that gee, things may have gone too far. Yeah well, what can ya do? Humanity can't seem to get off this ride. Just a continuous cycle of oppression and bloodshed. We don't learn. *sigh*

Listen to movie Gandalf's advice, dammit:

"I would use this ring from a desire to do good! But through me, it would wield a power too great and terrible to imagine!"

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