FOR SALE: One Extra Large ACME Widget

Cosmetically it's in great condition but there are some operational issues to be aware of. This widget isn't for those looking for a flawless unit, but rather someone who isn't afraid of a little tweaking. It does work, but you will have to futz with it a bit.

*The Fantoozler Value gets stuck sometimes and you have to wiggle it before it spins up the Thingydoo.

*The indicator light for Six\Half-Dozen does not work although when switched you can hear the click sound. I do not know if this functions correctly or not, but personally I have never seen the difference between Six and Half-Dozen. Your mileage may vary.

*When first turned on the tip of the Zoozatz may be truncated, but the remaining length is fine. This can be remedied by pushing the Zoozatz Activator button a second time.

This may sound bad when you write it all down, but as you know the ACME Widget is a very beautiful piece which is why I was willing to put up with the bugs. The industrial design is like no other. If it really bothers you the Widget can be sent to an authorized ACME service facility for repair. I was going to do this, but never got around to it.

Also included:
Remote control
Divining rod
Schrazbat Motivator
Schrazbat Motivator gloves
original box

Asking price: $3.50
Shipping & handling: $1.280
Contact: brothertheodore

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Dear Brother Theodore,

I'll take that ACME Widget if it's still available. I've been looking for one in that price range for some time now!

Does it come with the remote and Schrazbat Motivator?

Thanks!
-Dr. Nye Everson
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Yep, the widget is still available! Yes, it comes with the remote and Schrazbat Motivator.

Send payment to brothertheodore@moneybuddy.com
-Brother Theodore
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I will send the payment out tomorrow. If possible could you send the Widget today? I'd like to get it as soon as possible! I'm a doctor, so I won't rip you off. Thanks!

I almost forgot to ask, are the gloves included as well?
Dr. Nye
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Yes, as stated in the ad the gloves are included. I won't ship the widget until I have the payment though, I hope you understand.
-Brother Theodore
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I guess that's okay. I will send payment shortly. Thank you!
-Dr. Nye
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I have received the payment. Thanks much! I have shipped out the widget via SSS and it should be there within a week. Thanks again, hope you enjoy it!
-Brother Theodore

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ONE WEEK LATER
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Dear Brother Theodore,
My sister is having extreme difficulty with the ACME widget. The Fantoozler Valve gets stuck and the thingydoo won't spin. Also, when she first turns it on the Zoozatz are cut off. I would either like a refund or let me know how to fix this problem.
-Dr. Nye
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Well, this shouldn't come as a big surprise, Dr. Nye. These are both problems clearly stated in the ad. You just have to wiggle the Fantoozler Valve and the Thingydoo should spin up. It might take a little practice, but it will work. For the Zoozatz problem, just hit the Activator button a second time at it will start over.
-Brother Theodore
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So...I assume you're saying, "Eat shit and die, scumbag!!!" right?
-Dr. Nye
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No, I am not saying 'eat shit and die' I'm saying 'caveat emptor'. I made it known that this widget wasn't fully operational. I have been using this widget myself for three years and the issues just take some getting used to.
-Brother Theodore
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Usually the people I deal with on SellingStuff.com are a little more honest. You made it sound like it was no big deal, well it IS a big deal. It's a HUGE friggin' deal! My sister is in tears! She wanted this widget for so long and now her heart is broken thanks to charlatans like you! She can't even get the Thingydoo to spin at all! Thanks a lot for dumping your useless piece of junk on me, asshole!

Ohhh, just WAIT 'til I leave my feedback on SellingStuff.com! You are gonna get it then, jackass! We'll put scammers like you out of business! How can you sleep at night when you totally rip people off like this!? I hope you rot in hell!
-Dr. Nye
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I am sorry to hear you are having problems, but these are the exact same problems I said the widget had. I have told you how to fix them but you don't seem to want to listen.
-Brother Theodore
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What are you talking about, you sold me an Extra Large ACME Widget for $3.50! And now it doesn't work! You should be in jail! AAAARRRGGGH!!!
-Dr. Nye
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Abstinence Makes The Mind Grow Fonder

Everyone likes to give advice to people for things they've done which have worked out. It's only natural to want to share with others. So here's my advice to ya'll:

Stop watching television!

I'm talking about cold turkey here, folks. Cancel the cable subscription, unplug from the wires and just try it for a month or longer, you will start to feel better. Mostly you should stop watching "The News", that's the key, but let's not split hairs, just turn the whole works off. The change will be noticeable.

I noticed that I became less disgruntled when I ceased watching the news. As much as I love technology and all that, one side effect is that everything that comes through that tiny screen becomes magnified in your mind. If you watch a news report about some terrible crime your mind then tells you this is happening everywhere, it could happen to you too! Everything they show you gets amplified. Television is like this incredible machine of mental exaggeration. The media tells you all these horror stories, stuff you're supposed to be terrified of and be on guard against, but the nature of the show does not allow enough time to get the whole story. So your emotions become amplified but your intellect isn't challenged. There's just not enough stuff there to chew on and yet people take it and run off with it.

We don't particularly like the idea of "ignorance is bliss", it certainly doesn't sound like anything to be proud of. Nevertheless, being ignorant of something can indeed allow for some bliss-like feelings to enter the picture. Why do you think children are so damn happy all the time? Because they're ignorant of the drudgery and toil that adults have saddled themselves with. One of these saddles is the news. Here you can watch a little screen and have a whole new reality fed into your brain. But you know that it's not completely fake, you know it does take place in the real world. Or does it? Is the true reality the stock footage left unused inside thounds of Betamax cassettes, footage so boring and dull so as to not be worthy of TV news? That is my suspicion. Instead we are given a far more entertaining and sensational view of the outside world. This is worth watching now isn't it? If people really wanted 'Reality TV' they should watch 8 hours of surveilance camera footage from a gas station security camera. Now that's reality television! But does it fill you with that satisfying fear and righteous anger like the edited news does? Nope.

So turn that crap off! Without a steady diet of outside stimulation being fed into your brain you will be forced to observe your actual physical reality around you. Now you alone can decide what is a big deal and what isn't. Now you will only be concerned with the problems that affect the geographical areas where you choose to go. No more getting angry about something happening in another state. No more being afraid of something that happened far away. Now you can focus on the here and now. It won't be easy to turn away, but you should give it a shot. There will be consequences and side effects. You won't be able to participate as in those TV-centric conversations around the water cooler at work. People will mention celebrity names and you won't know who they're talking about.

True, it might be very frightening turning off your TV set. Your co-workers may start calling you names and spitting on you as you walk by. They may say things like,

"Oh look, here comes Ms. I Don't Watch TV Anymore Because Of Some Guy's Blog! Bitch thinks she's too good for us!"

or "Why don't you go read a book, faggot!"

and even "There he is! Get the tar and feathers! Get out of town you uppity, no-TV-watching jackass! We don't like yer kind around here!" Furthermore, they may beat you with sawed off pipes and broken chair legs until you cough up blood. Burnt effigies, voodoo curses and ritual disembowelment are also common side-effects endured by the TV abstainer.

But do not fear, for these are all things you will have to deal with on the road to true television independence. Aren't you worth it?

Liberty: The Only Thing We Need To Agree On

It seems to me a lot of what masquerades as politics these days is really just cultural and social differences. We tend to think of people in terms of charicatures and the clichés expressed by them. You've got yer lefty bleeding heart hippie socialists, your righty greedy capitalist conservatives, and somehow each group wants everyone else to join theirs as the True Way To Live. Well, that's bullshit - it's never gonna happen. And why would we want it to? Why do we care so much that other people adopt our way of life as best? If you pin your happiness on other people's agreement you're destined for disappointment. Yes, it's good to have that, but unrealistic to expect it on large scale. It's unlikely that any one person's view is not going to be shared at all by other people, so there is really nothing to worry about.

It's like being a music fan. You discover some band, totally dig their music and want to share it with others. But what happens when they start getting TOO popular? Well now that band is no longer "yours", your abstract mental ownership of said group has been compromised and now you're all grumpy. It's silly, but it happens. Usually this occurs in youth, where passionate feelings are much stronger of course. What's better is when you can achieve a balance of popularity and exclusivity. If you understand that not everyone is gonna dig this band, if you understand that you may be annoyed by some people who also dig the band and if you're okay with all this, well NOW you're cookin'.

So why would you really want the rest of the world to adopt YOUR views on what to do? It's just impossible to fathom. People come from all different walks of life, were raised differently, had different experiences; it's foolish to think they are all going to think the same and value the same things. Well, my point is that we don't need to worry about that. That's all just details. You might care passionately about saving animals whereas someone else wouldn't care one bit because their main issue is something else. Getting both parties to care about each other's issues is improbable. What is more important is the freedom for each party to pursue their issues without interference. When these issues become politcal issues there will be no balance. By nature it will become a bitter feud without end. There will be heartbreak, enmity and violence. You can't truly get what you want with government interference, you can only get what you truly want with liberty. Liberty is the ONLY thing we need to agree on. We have to get past the mental walls and learn that some groups will never agree with others, but it's a moot point because without government butting in we will not be living at each other's expense.

The only legitimate use of government is to protect two or more individuals from violating each others rights and property, NOT to protect individuals from themselves. That lofty goal is why government fails unfortunately. It is a tall order for the human race. It calls for a supremely neutral, fair person who can evenly dispense justice without his own bias getting in the way. How many superhuman people like this do you know? I can't think of any. I wouldn't trust myself to be in charge of political office. People would love or hate me. No good. We must be wary of those among us who desire power. If that lust for control can be redirected into more harmless avenues, like gravel pits in mountainous regions designed to stop semi trailers whose brakes have failed, then fewer people will be hurt. No, not actual gravel pits, that was a metaphor. We really need a 'Fletcher Memorial Home' as Roger Waters wrote. I wish such a fantasy were possible. If politicians could live in a Matrix-like alternate reality where they really believed they were doing all sorts of great things for society but without actually doing anything, that would be phenomenal!

Liberty matters even if you don't think you want it. Maybe you're a nut who is okay with all the government intrusions. Well, you can have that system if you want, but just keep it to yourself. Go off and create your own little society. I don't want to live under your laws and taxation bullshit. It's an oxymoron, but I could see people creating voluntary government if that's what they wanted. In that case it would be best to use a different word than government I suppose. The problem is that government as we've always known it has applied to everyone within their imaginary borders. It's pretty hard to escape it.

I think everyone has a radical idea about something or other even if they don't consider themselves radical . Everyone wants to see something stricken entirely from the planet and something else raised on high to be admired and emulated. But we all want it to be applied in broad strokes. And who can blame us? Government makes that contention inevitable. If there were lots of little governments\communities\societies who didn't have to fear the wrath of other groups it would be much easier to find a world you could live with. This idea might scare people because it sounds like segregation and separatism. Well, so what if it is? As long as these groups are entered into freely there's no problem.

The flowery notion of all people on earth living in peace and harmony, holding hands underneath a rainbow isn't going to happen when there's one world government. The more laws they pass, the more taxes, the more regulations, the more dependent you become upon your neighbor and vice versa. Why should this be? Why should people living on the west coast be paying for services used by those on the east coast? Why should people pay for services they don't even use? Let's take it a step farther...let's propose that Canadians and Mexicans also have to pay taxes into the American government and Americans have to pay taxes to the other two countries as well. Would anyone be for this?! No, they'd call that crazy. But the only difference is an imaginary line on a map. Look at a satellite photo of the earth without any lines on it and the whole idea of countries and nations and states seems rather ridiculous. But yet we are all so utterly wedded to these nationalist ideas. Somehow ALL the people born inside our imaginary box are special in some way and anyone outside that box aren't. If you want borders that's fine, but I say draw them in ever decreasing size until the only borders are the ones drawn around ourselves. The more decentralized the desire for power is, the less harm it can do.

All this group mentality seems nice on the surface, but it just doesn't hold up under scrutiny. Groups can be beneficial, but I think people have a natural desire to be free from each other. We don't want to be lumped into one big pot. (or pumped into one pig lot either) We shouldn't be like a melting pot where all our colors blend into a muddy grey, but rather like a salad bar. You can pick what you want on your salad and not be worried about the next guy in line. Maybe the government can serve as the sneeze guard, a transparent protector against mucous aggression. But then, why even have just ONE salad bar?

Hopefully the day shall come when Black Sabbath lyrics and Boston album covers come true and people can finally rocket off planet earth and build a new world on another planet. But we'll probably fuck that up too.

King Kong

There's a lot of disbelief I am willing to suspend for a movie, but breaking the laws of physics isn't one of them. I recently rented Peter Jackson's remake of "King Kong" and while I think it was an excellent, highly entertaining movie with some of the most intense action sequences I've ever seen, I can't help but think that the entire cast should have been killed halfway into the movie. The fact that any human in that movie survived to return to New York city is bordering on ludicrous.

The movie was doing fine up until Kong first appears and takes Anne from the sacrificial bamboo platform thing. Anne was unable to free herself from the ropes which is understandable, as is the fact that an ape the size of Kong would have no difficulty breaking the ropes. But the problem is that the ropes are severed by Kong pulling on Anne's entire body. Folks, if you were tied to a tree with rope and I lifted your body up with a forklift the first thing to break is going to be your arms, not the rope. So Anne should have had either broken or dismembered arms for the remainder of the film.

Shortly after that Anne is subjected to intense abuse which would seem equivalent or worse than anything felt on a roller coaster or test pilot trial. If not showing the numerous broken bones she would have suffered while being inside Kong's grip I would have at least liked to see Anne vomit all over the place after being shook up like a can of soda. I honestly don't think a human would have survived the initial battery of Kong running through the jungle. She might have been okay clinging to his back, but in his palm as he was running? She would've been crushed over and over again! If not crushed, then subjected to massive G forces! Am I crazy on this?

The rest of the cast would've certainly all been trampled in the path of the charging dinosaurs. Of course it was exciting, but it's this denial of physical reality in movies which drives me nuts. I can accept giant beasts falling through vines, but I can't accept that shot where Jack Black and crew are finally dropped to the ground after being thrown from the log because it's like a fucking 30 foot drop! It's like falling off a two story house onto rock and expecting to get up afterward with only a few groans. You can fall off a step ladder and not get up fer crying out loud.

I want to see action movies where people get hurt and can't go on, like in the real world. It would be terrible cinema and not the least bit exciting, but dammit, I'D go see that movie! *sigh*

Caveat Emptor

caveat emptor | noun
the principle that the buyer alone is responsible for checking the quality and suitability of goods before a purchase is made.
ORIGIN early 16th cent.: Latin, literally ‘let the buyer beware.’

This is a phrase which everyone should take to heart whenever dealing with any online transaction between two people selling used items. Whether it's eBay or whatever, it is the buyer's responsibility to READ the ad copy and make a thoughtful decision about buying it or not. I have bought a fair amount of goods over the past few years on eBay and Audiogon, which is a site specifically for trading audio equipment. As a buyer I don't feel that I have ever been ripped off by anyone. That might be just sheer luck, or it could also be because I don't transact with people having lazy, insufficient or funny-sounding ad copy. One doesn't need a "good" reason for avoiding something, it can be a gut feeling. If the person isn't giving enough information or there's no picture. NO SALE. I make note of the person's location and feedback. I read the payment terms. I look for anything that seems funny and ask questions if something isn't clear.

If I am buying ANYTHING used online from an individual my expectations are much lower than if I was buying from a formal business. eBay is a like big rummage sale. Don't expect 100% customer satisfaction. Don't expect to be able to return if if you don't like it. These are people who have lives beyond this little sale and their job isn't to make sure you're happy as a clam. They want to sell their stuff and get money. Period. They're not professional retailers. Well yes, there ARE of course professional retailers on eBay but I am not talking about them. You buy used from individuals to cut out the middlemen, get something which is "good enough" in quality, and not pay as much as retail. Simple enough?

If you want to be coddled, buy new. If you want a deal and aren't afraid of a little hassle, buy used. But DON'T come crying to me because you can't fucking read plain English! You need to read the ad copy on eBay folks, it's a legally binding contract. If it's too long and boring to read, don't bid. There are lots of unreadable garbage ads out there and I can't figure why anyone buys from them. But all the same, it's great for the individual seller. Where else is being able to write a legally binding contract so easy to do? Finally you get a chance to be your own lawyer for once! Don't take that opportunity lightly.

I said I've never been ripped off, but people have accused me of ripping them off. It's a joke. If you are a whiner who wants their hand held, if you just want to read what I'm selling and nothing else, then don't do business with me. Luckily every bad transaction is a learning experience and it gives you more chances to dot your i's and cross your t's next time. But I think there's people out there who will never be happy. I really have to give props to anyone who runs their own business. It must be a huge task to have to deal with the general public on a daily basis. I don't know how people have the patience!

The Trials Of Shopping

As my youth faded away into maturity, so went with it all the joy and warm glow once felt during the Christmas season. Whether this can be attributed to the simple passage of time or to self-imposed Scroogyness I cannot be certain. When one asks those types of rhetorical questions the answer is usually "a little of both". In regards to the self-imposed Scroogyness angle, I think the main rub is the fact that I hate shopping. In the physical stores, that is. Online shopping is much better and allows me to research things indefinitely in sacrifice of actually being able to see the item in person. Given my distaste for crowds and\or salesmen, this is a good compromise. But still, I feel fairly guilty about this fact. I wish I could enjoy the act of shopping like many people seem to, but it ends up becoming a chore. Not quite sure why that is considering there's no reason to feel bad. If you're shopping it means you've got money and are about to get some new stuff, so what's to worry about, right?

I don't even like grocery shopping all that much. Luckily I am blessed by a near-heroic grocery store within short driving distance which stays open until midnight. I say near-heroic because fully heroic would be a 24-hour grocery store. But that's a superfluous point, the main desire here is minimal interference with rival customers. I really feel like an ass standing in people's way. I can't linger in any one area for too long if there are other shoppers nearby. I feel like I am right in the way of that can of pickled hogs' feet they've got their eye on. You can't read labels or see if any House Industries fonts were used in the package design with a store full of customers, you've got to grab something and throw it in your cart without stopping! Well, you CAN do these take-yer-dear-sweet-time things, but you'd be That Jerk Who Won't Get Out Of The Way. I don't wanna be that guy! And certainly I don't want to violate people's personal space boundaries. Reaching in sideways in front of a contemplative shopper for that can of Creamed Gizzards isn't something I'd feel comfortable with.

Luckily after 10PM there's not too many people around the grocery store I patronize. There's a great word, patronize. Depending on the sound you say the letter "A" with you're either insulting someone's intelligence or buying something from their store. Isn't English great? Anyway, back to the grocery store. Usually there are under 5 different parties when I go in the evening. That is very pleasing. Now I can relax and contemplate purchases with more freedom than in earlier, busier hours. This, like online shopping also carries with it some sacrifices. There's no ladies around, attractive or otherwise when I shop after 10PM. Somehow I have to train myself to grant more weight to this end of the shopping pendulum instead of the easy breezy speed factor.

Now if you want to talk speed shopping you have to talk about Wal-Mart. I love Wal-Mart in principle in that they're giving folks what they want, but in practice I hate Wal-Mart. Or rather, in an aesthetic sense Wal-Mart rubs me the wrong way. Hate is probably too strong a word. But I have chosen them to be my primary source of motor oil and...well I can't quite think of anything else I buy there at the moment. There is something else, but right now I can only remember motor oil. I think I can get my motor oil at Wal-Mart faster than you can get a burger at the McDonald's drive-through.

Shopping in that blindingly bright shrine of bland consumerism is not something I wish to endure for too long. It's a combination of the customers, the staff and the merchandise which combine to generate extreme discomfort. So I do it like a man running barefoot over burning hot sand. I park my car in a distant spot, walk through the doors strategically avoiding pedestrian collisions in the vestibule, avoid the Greeter if at all possible, then make a beeline for the motor oil aisle with rapid, earnest strides just short of running. If Wal-Mart were a public swimming pool I would surely be marked by a life guard for potential yelling at through the cone. But before I know it I've got two jugs of 10W30 in hand and making strides toward the 8-items or less express lane. Oh if it were only so. I think the people who stand in front of grocery aisles contemplating their purchases whilst blocking my pre-planned mission are the same ones who always get in front of me at the Wal-Mart express lane. Relative subjective bias? Quite possible, but I say put it to a test. I would bet my total transaction time is less than the other slow pokes. Get some guys in lab coats with stopwatches on this right away! Before you know it I am off, receipt in hand in order to avoid any possible entanglements with the elderly cart stacker\exit cop person. (because you know people steal tons of stuff in the 20 feet between the register and the door!)

That reminds me of a worse physical shopping experience. Best Buy. Screw Best Buy! Worst lines I have ever been in in any store. (people say "in in" all the time in the spoken word, but it sucks when you have to write it out doesn't it?) Inevitably there will be six registers available with only two Best Buy lackeys working them, and a line sprawled out for yards. OPEN ANOTHER REGISTER MORONS! You know, if I had actually shopped at Best Buy within the past five years or so I might actually have a better rant, but that's what I remembered of my elder Best Buy experiences.

So what does any of this have to do with Christmas? Christmas shopping may be the most unpleasant of all. Crowds are almost unavoidable no matter the hour. Combine that with the challenge of having to think up decent gifts for your relatives and the ticking clock winding down towards December 25th and you've got yourself some Jolly Holiday Anxiety. Every year I know I should start shopping eariler but every year I screw it up and procrastinate. My ultimate theoretical solution is to buy up a closet full of moderately-appropriate gifts, at least enough for one year in advance and have them ready to go at any moment. Have a set of greeting cards ready to be pressed into service. All these things are entirely possible, quite logical and would eliminate tons of stress and anxiety; but I have yet to execute these plans. Once the day comes and goes I breathe easy once more and the best laid plans are laid to waste.

This year however I made some small progress. I did manage to order some stuff earlier than usual. The most logical thing would be to do everything online and well ahead of Christmas so that there would be plenty of shipping buffer available. I figure the earlier the packages arrive the more I can relax. Avoiding the physical stores entirely would be a worthy goal, but it requires discipline and planning. I am not sure I can hack it. The most dreadful feeling I know is walking into a department store with NO idea what I want or need to buy. The sensation is almost crushing.

I am not sure why people do this to themselves, this whole gift exchange thing. Is it not folly to assume another person knows your material desires better than you do? Perhaps, but there are such creatures who exist and I am in awe and reverence of them. Someone I know is a stupendous gift-giver. She rarely fail to impress, making the gift recepient, herself and the gathered crowd all pleased with her shopping expertise. I truly envy that ability. I don't know where it comes from. I can't seem to manage shopping with other people's desires and taste in mind. I tend to buy stuff which, although I might have no use or want of it myself, is still something I find aesthetically pleasing. Maybe that's a mistake. Seems like gift-giving really only clicks when both parties are of similar mind. Perhaps we should curtail our gift giving to only those parties to whom we are most intimate. That may make the trials of shopping less arduous. See how I tied in the name of the article at the very end? Clever, aina?

The Serpent's Fruit Is Tricksy

Remember back when I was talking about the dark heart of model railroading and the episode of CSI? No, of course you don't, you're most likely reading another blog right now. But let's pretend for a moment. And while you're pretending you could go and read that post and come back later. The harsh truth is I've never even seen that episode of CSI. I've never seen ANY episode of CSI for that matter. This is not damning evidence at all considering I never claimed to have actually watched the episode. It was based entirely on word of mouth from another person. The stuff I said about model railroading, now that was completely true and based upon some seven years of vigorous research, observation, and daydreaming.

You might ask why a person would write about an episode of CSI he hadn't seen, that is if you were actually reading this, which you're not. It's because:

A) I don't have my TV connected to an antenna or coaxial cable
B) I don't want to update my Quicktime software.

The malcontent tinkerers at Apple already have my 30-some bucks or whatever it cost me to register Quicktime PRO (ooh, ahh!) a ways back and now they've got a new version 7 that I need if I want to download and watch the episode of the lousy gaddamn show from the friggin' iTunes store. Why would you register Quicktime Pro anyway? To turn the menu item that says Save As Source... from disabled grey to beautiful, active black. That's all. Hooray! Thirty bucks to be able to save off a video or audio file. Seems nutty, but I paid their price.

So yes, I could upgrade to 7 and watch that lousy CSI episode, but then I have to cough up another 30 bucks to get my blackened menu items back. Bastards! What's so great about this new version 7 anyway? And what the hell happened to that motto "it just works"? Quicktime was "just working" fine for a long time, and now they throw up another toll bridge. I know I am just bitter, but if you ask me it smells of version incompatibility for the sake of version incompatibility.

The Dark Heart Of Model Railroading

Fictional series television, which is of course truly representative of real life, has finally confirmed what I have suspected all along; model railroaders are morbid bastards with a lust for violent fantasy! They are not the kindly old men casually pursuing a harmless toy train obsession in their basements and attics as we've been led to believe. No, instead the light of truth has finally been shone on these sociopaths and their shameful practices. The inner 'Dark Heart' of their lurid hobby has now been exposed. I have suspected this dark heart all along, and finally my suspicions have been verified.

Although I don't watch the show myself, it has come to my attention that in episode 709 "Loco-Motives" of the TV show "CSI" (broadcast December 7th, 2006) a murdering modeler was building model dioramas depicting the horror and brutality of his crimes in miniature.

Although this is merely a TV show, it reflects what few people are willing to admit, that these men demand modeling products with blood and guts potential. Oh sure, they make you think they're all about historical detail and train nostalgia, but this is merely a mainstream facade hiding a far uglier and more dangerous underbelly. In fact a whole cottage industry has sprung up to conceal and propagandize the unaware public with millions of safe and innocuous modeling products. Their conceit is that this family friendly side is all there is.

But there is little more than these men truly desire than to act out their most morbid fantasies using foam, plastic, glue and paint. Brutally twisted train wrecks, burning buildings, mangled automobiles, piles of dismembered and decapitated human figures...all bathed in a sea of fake blood! These are their dark fantasies created on sheets of styrofoam and plywood. The morbid modeler acts as the God of his train layout; and not the loving kind of god, but a megalomaniacal beast inflicting inhumane punishments that would make even Job himself quail! Truly even the worst tyrants of history could not imagine the blackest dreams that dwell in the mind of the common model railroader!

The mainstream modeling industry is in complete denial of these ugly facts and thus fails to provide the imagery these sick perverts need to release their mental demons in a controlled manner. All they need is to see some blood dripping from the walls of a tannery or a few plastic cattle carcasses and their fantasy bloodlust would be sated. But no, the industry will not have it. Conceal this distastefulness with blue skies and puffy clouds, happy little buildings and green meadows! Under no circumstance are they to show death or suffering. This denial only serves to drive the modelers more mad and all the more willing to abandon their hobby knives for swords. The world shall truly know terror when thousands of model railroaders are pushed over the edge into a murderous rage. Fantasy and reality shall meet and many shall die. You will never know that your tragic death could have existed only on some weirdo's diorama. But now the corpses lying ripped apart in the streets are not made of plastic, they are our friends and family members.

The prophecy I tell is true, there will one day come a violent attack by these modelers if their dark dreams cannot be exercised in a fantasy setting! Beware!

Lay Waste To Burl Ives

"He will crumble underneat us!
Underneat us!"

Move Over Big Mother

I was reading a Wisconsin government website about various sorts of traffic laws and safety issues. I heard on the radio there was some new "Move Over" law about how you've gotta slow down or merge into the opposite lane if a cop is on the side of the road, or (of course) get a $250 fine. Apparently some workers were killed by a passing motorist at some point. No doubt about it, that's very tragic and sad. But if I have one wish it's that if I am ever killed, please don't pass a new fucking law in my name! Stop it! Every time an accident happens we don't need new laws. There will come a day when there are more laws than there are people to break them. Cops will have to go out and do pre-emptive arrests. Round up and handcuff two dozen people in a shopping mall, "Sorry folks, just a formality, we're going ot have to hold you here until the laws you're breaking are signed off on. We don't know what you've been accused of quite yet, but rest assured you are probably breaking the law."

Anyway, back to the traffic advice on the government site. To tell you the truth, it wasn't bad stuff. Most of it was common sense, good advice. Oh sure, there was the obligatory sob story about the poor poor police and their difficult jobs, but that's to be expected. In fact, my thoughts reading much of it was, "Well, duh!" Yeah, it's a bad idea to drive fast on icy roads. Yeah, it's a bad idea to follow too close to the guy in front of you at freeway speeds. Yes, you should be careful when merging. A lot of it sounded like things that would occur naturally to people even if this wasn't coming from on the high mountain where the holy bureaucrats live. You know, by driving. Problem is, after the end of all this good, common sense advice you might expect from one's own mother you have to add the phrase "OR ELSE!" Government gives you this 'good advice' while suggestively patting the palm of their hand with a baseball bat.

This "move over law" crap has got me a little ticked off. I don't want cops to get sideswiped on the road or anything, but do we really need yet another means of money collection? In my experience the presence of police on the road causes more problems than when they're not there. If you are headed to work on schedule rest assured if you are unlucky enough to have a police car get in front of you in the right lane you are NOT going to make it on time. That cop car is radiating an invisible wave of fear and intimidation in all directions! It's kind of like that 'patronus' charm Harry Potter casts in the movie, except that the Dementers are us. Nobody will DARE pass him in the left lane no matter the speed. The fear is almost palpable. It's like every person in that pack of cars is quaking in their shoes. Cars will continue to pile up behind for a quarter mile. The ones in the back won't know what's going on. I see it happen just about every time. In rare, VERY rare occasions I have gathered the courage to pass a cop in the left lane, but I practically had cotton mouth doing it! And I took my dear sweet time doing it, gazing at the speedometer every two seconds. It's probably irrational fear, he's probably not going to pull me over, but this is what cops can do to people's minds.

And truly, what is the point of the move over law when GAPERS BLOCK is practically a law of human nature anyway? No matter what, if there's a squad pulled off to the side rest assured it will be causing a traffic jam of one degree or another. I have rarely seen anyone blowing by a copper at normal freeway speed. Everyone slows down to see what's going on. I wouldn't be surprised if there are more rear-ender accidents on the roads if people are going to start obeying this law and dropping 20mph whenever they sight a cop on the road.

Why not put all of this into high gear? Let's fast forward and get right into full-on, total government control of ALL transportation. Let's have no more individually-driven cars and trucks, let's just have giant conveyor belts moving constantly at 15mph all through the country. You sign up for what time you need to get on the belt to go to work and a government worker will come to your house to strap you onto the conveyor belt with your helmet, knee pads, safety harness, Nerf-fortified leotard, airbag and parachute and off you go to work. Isn't it great? Ooh it's almost like a roller coaster in the days of old! (you know, before they were banned) Oh and coming next will be eliminating all non-government jobs too, so you'll be assigned your National Service Duty soon, sonny. Hopefully it won't be far from your cubicle so you won't have to spend much time on the belt anyway. Ahh, what a brave new world of freedom and liberty. Thank you Big Mother! All good things flow from your infinite care and wisdom for our well being! Let us suckle at your nuturing bosom for all time! Amen!

Jail Now or Hell Later?

Ranting and arguing about religion can be a real mess. People on all sides can get their fur up in a hurry. To a ticked off atheist religion can seem like a violent, hateful, abusive thing that needs to be done away with. Holy wars, genocides, inquisitions, witch hunts, crusades, social oppression, genital mutilation, suicide bombings all in the name of God...there's no shortage of bloodshed out there. Even without all the gore, safe in our relatively peaceful neighborhoods watching TV and surfing the web, religion may still seem like a terrible surrender of the mind. To willingly give up the beauty of truth for potentially more beautiful poetry and passionate feelings with little basis. As much as I sympathize with those angry, anti-religious feelings, I have to put it in the proper prospective. The way I see it, compared to government, religion is a walk in the park.

It true that I view both entities as two fangs of a serpent which will poison you and suck your life out, to borrow a phrase from Bill Hicks (the actual phrase goes something like, '...These vampire priests with their twin fangs of guilt and sin who suck all the joy of life out of you...') But if we put aside the bad behavior of a few people who are religious and focus instead on the religous dogma itself, we can see that all the nastiness is superficial, or rather supernatural. And if not supernatural, at least post mortem. All the horrible sounding threats religion has to offer all occur after we die. I can't help but think, *meh*.

I mean, gnashing of teeth? How bad could it be? Don't they have plastic dental appliances for that? Maybe get your teeth replaced with teflon dentures before you die, problem solved. Also, in hell everyone will be fit and trim. I know, I've seen some of the famous paintings of Judgement Day and it doesn't look too bad. There's not too many fatties around. With our obsession with fitness and weight loss this could be something to look forward too. And a lot of those demons are wicked cool looking. How often do you get to see a guy walking around with chicken feet in the mortal world? It'll be like a day at the circus in Hell! And you know damn well they will have the best musicians. No question about that!

The point is, all the scary stuff the priest tries to spook you with can be safely dismissed. For one, this information has all come from LIVING people. Dead people don't write Bible stories. How credible are these accounts anyway? Bobby "Blitz" Ellsworth of New York metal band Overkill once told us "I've been to Hell and back so many times before", but the church has so far refused to update the Bible with his first-hand accounts. A glaring ommission! Just how real is the threat of Hell given this scant evidence?

Government on the other hand, represents a very real, tangible threat to our happiness. Like many people, I have a 9-5 job at a company. I love my job and enjoy doing what I do. It's rewarding work and I'm glad to have the opportunity to get paid to do it. But all is not well. A great deal of that reward is pissed away in taxation. The government takes a big taste before I even get my money, and then when I go to spend it they take another taste. If I go to work too fast they'll try to take another taste if they can. They've taken a taste from all the other people I might want to buy stuff from, driving up the price. They've got their grubby fingers poking into places they don't belong with page after page of rules and regulations the business owner has got to follow. They don't trust anyone to be safe, they have to treat grown adults like children and nanny them into submission.

Ages ago you may very well be afraid of crusaders raiding your village and forcing you to adopt their religion of choice with a spear aimed at your chest. These days the church has tamed down quite a bit. Nowadays you'll never see a priest pull a man over and ask to see his church papers. A pack of rabbis aren't cruising the streets making sure you aren't selling any non-Kosher food. Let's say you're a real asshole; treating people like dirt, lying cheating and stealing from your neighbor. You simply show up in that 'ol confession box, say you're sorry and you'll walk out sentenced to little more than a few Hail Marys and Our Fathers. That's light compared to what the government is gonna do to you.

Even if you aren't a total asshole the government will try to fuck with you. You won't be able to let people smoke in your own restaurant or business, even inside your own fucking car. You won't be allowed to gamble with your own money, but the government will gamble with yours. You won't be allowed to take certain drugs or food. The government thinks it knows how to live your life. Their organization may only be a word and a thought in our minds, but these are real people commanding other very real people with very real guns to take your liberty from you. Religion only has empty threats and guilt. It's all symbolic. The government means business. The government won't even allow religious crackpots to kill THEMSELVES if they can help it fer cripes sakes!

Adopting religious faith in your life is what I would call 'relatively harmless'. Yeah it might not make a lot of sense, it might offer a false sense of security, it might abdicate some personal responsibility, it might cause me to roll my eyes and grumble; but compared with the true, verifiable evil possible with an out-of-control federal government, I will gladly take the Jesus freaks any day! When the government 'passes the plate' and you don't put anything in there you're going to jail. Do the same at church and well...they might just have to cancel friday night bingo!

The Template Editor Thingy Here Is Great

I am not sure how it all works, but the ease of editing your template on this site is really fucking cool. The real-time, as-you-click font and color changes are the cat's ass and no mistake. I even managed to muck about in the HTML code without disaster. emspaces, leading and tracking? How cool is that!? And I thought all vestiges of typography were destroyed with the internet. When the 300ppi+ screens come in future times (I hope) we may forget all about silly things like "pixels" and think in more analog, organic terms. (sort of) Kudos to whomever set this shit up. Nice work! :D

Religion's Goal: Behavior or Mysticism?

My question is; What's the true goal of most religious people? Heck, I'll take just what one religious person wants! Do the faithful want us to follow a moral code, a certain philosophy about life and behave in a certain way, or do they want us to accept a series of stories containing supernatural characters as being true and real? Is one more important than the other? Do you have to follow both? Can a person adopt the philosophy of a particular religion and not accept any of the mystical, supernatural elements? Is it acceptable to adpot Jesus' advice without believing he was the son of an invisible man and rose from the dead?

The main problem I have is the mysticism. If that can be discarded we're simply left with a real, honest debate about things like philosophy, right and wrong, how to act in certain situations and how to treat people for the best results. It seems so moronic to tie up moral teaching with stories that conflict with our known experience and also demand that these stories are accepted as fact. Noah's Ark is of course the most obvious example. Why do people associate buying into such a far fetched story with their desire for people to be nice to each other? I don't get it! Lose the mystical crap and tell us what you really mean. Some of these folks are straining to get scientific legitimacy for their mysticism as if winning that battle will then make people behave according to the desired moral code.

It's not unlike the 9/11 conspiracy people who call into this radio show Free Talk Live. These guys think that if Joe American buys into their claims then he will magically wake up and overthrow the corrupt government officials responsible and justice will prevail. Just like if you buy the story that God created the universe in 7 days then suddenly you will become a kind and benevolent person, a pillar of virtue. It makes no sense! Why do we muck up serious, debateable issues with this fantasy nonsense? Hell, if buying into bullshit claims made people really kind and moral then thousands of audiophiles the world over would sprout wings from their backs and float skyward to heaven! (okay, that was a cheap shot but I couldn't resist)

There's perfectly fine reasons to include fantasy when you want to tell a moral tale. It makes it more interesting. Well, in theory that is. Personally I can't get past Genesis in the Bible. Staggeringly boring literature! I figured God would punish me if I skipped ahead, (like, to Revelations perhaps where the good Heavy Metal verses live!) so I just had to put it down entirely. Somehow, in spite of this fact, I haven't raped, robbed or murdered anyone. (within the past month at least) How can that be!? Morals without accepting Jesus Christ into my heart!? It's just unthinkable!

It's true that there are many things wrong with the world. It's far easier to talk about the bad stuff. But really, no matter what religion you subscribe to I think it's reasonable to say that most humans have adopted positive, healthy principles. We don't always follow them, but by and large most people are able to get along without killing each other. There's something to be said for that. I just think it's mother nature and not God who made it happen. Just living and interacting with your environment and your fellow man teaches you to adopt many of the same virtues that are normally ascribed to religious dogmas. Going against them often has bad results. Why do we need to blame all this good stuff on the invisible man? Give yourself some credit!

A Near-Pointless Clarification

The origin of Brother Theodore was from a doodle I made at work one day of a monk. After rendering him in color I came up with a name for the digital file. "Brother Theodore Leaves The Priesthood" seemed appropriate. Later I posted the artwork to my website. I later came to learn from a Yugoslavian admirer of the artwork that in years past there was a comedian named Brother Theodore who apparentlyperformed very black, morbid humor. For the record, my creation and this man are unrelated. Theodore just sounded like a monk-like name to me at the time. Not a tremendous amount of forethought goes into these things.

I have in my mind's eye a complete scene surrounding this rebellious figure, but sloth and daily life have conspired against making it reality. (lame excuse)

I guess this cartoon image has become somewhat iconographic and even representative of myself. His expression is calm while his hand gesture is offensive. He stands steadfast against the blowing wind. He has a very large nose and awkward feet. Flopped, it all falls apart. (bloody typical) Okay, so that has more to do with my drawing (dis)ability. I'm no psychologist, but perhaps this is representative of a 'passive\aggressive' personality. Who knows? All I know is that I like it. He deserves his own plush toy don't you think? Cripes, that whole Japanese toy craze you see in the pages of Juxtapoz magaine has got every last little artists' character turned into a plastic toy. A lot of them suck I must admit, but that's just me. Bird-flipping monks are definitely going to be the next trend. I'm a marketing genius, I just know!

So there it is, that's the story. Exciting, aina?

Evolution vs. Creationism Isn't The Problem

The ageless battle between religion and science will certainly not end in our lifetimes unfortunately. The divide between faith and reason will never meet and arguing about it is merely fun, not necessarily efficacious towards a solution. In the meantime we can fix one problem causing so much friction between believers and non-believers in regards to the teaching-creationism-in-public-school debate. Government\public school is the abrasive element here. Without public school, with a free market in education people would be have children learn what they want in their school of choice. And as children grow older, what they themselves want to learn about. (I was taught to never start a sentence with And for instance, but sometimes I like to) Don't like religious blather getting into your biology class? Go to the freethinker\secular\scientific kind of school. Don't like anything that doesn't promote your love for Jesus? Go to the religious school. Simple. With public schools you've put everyone in the same centralized box, having to live under the same rules. That's the mistake, allowing government to have any say about education. By nature it pits people against each other. To once again invoke the Founding Fathers, they made it clear that government and religion should not intermingle. So that means IF you want government schools they can't have religion in them.

However, it is also unfair to assume that anyone learning about Subject X is going to buy into Subject X's claims 100%. I was raised with religious education for about 10 years or so. I was taught all sorts of fairy tales as well as some science. It didn't turn me into a devout Catholic by any means. Somehow my mind was not overtaken by the religious right or whatever. I consider myself an atheist today. I don't have a membership card or anything, no bumper sticker, but that's what I feel. The church didn't turn me into a little Catholic automaton any more than learning about science is going to shake the religious beliefs of religious kids who are secure in their faith.

What bothers me the most about Creationists is the ridiculousness of wanting the God story taught alongside the scientific evidence about the natural world. HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO READ THE GENESIS CHAPTER IN THE BIBLE TO YOUR KIDS AT HOME FER CRYING OUT LOUD!? The claims about creationism would take a a few minutes to explain to a class. But if you want to go into the science direction, well now you've got your work cut out for yourself! That can provide for a lengthy class. A lifetime of study even! I don't see how the religious angle would provide enough to chew on. The scales are so tipped in favor of science. There's so much more to talk about. Religion is fixed and unmoving. You've got your little sandbox to play in and that's it. You can spend your life studying the sand and it might be very rewarding, but you can't expand the sides of the sandbox like you can in science. They don't even know where the sides are fer cripes sakes, there's just a helluva lotta sand out there.

If you want your kids to learn religion then send them to religious school like my parents did. Or teach them yourself. And more importantly, get the federal government out of the business of education so it becomes easier and cheaper to have more private schools for people to choose from. Let people who don't have kids not bear the cost of those who do. This whole centralized, one-size-fits-all system is by nature isn't going to please everyone. It's only going to anger and divide people for no good reason. Let the debate over evolution vs. creationism be waged in a free market rather than a bureaucratic, communist-type state apparatus. We need to promote individual choice and personal responsibility and not put our trust in politicians who have no true interest in our education. Learning is too important to be administered by a bunch of posturing, corrupt gasbags. Let people who truly care about kids teach kids in the best way they know.

Zombie Founding Fathers Rock Tumbler Theory

U.S. Americans of all politicial views sometimes love to invoke the Founding Fathers as some sort of sacrosanct tool of debate in order to prop up their position. No matter what view people argue for, it's the real or imagined contents of the minds of these men that are apparently more important than what they wrote or the principles contained therein. Lines such as "Do you think the founding fathers had (insert your offensive speech of choice here) in mind when they wrote the first ammendment!?" are invoked when a person wants to argue against free speech and how some things should be off limits. Pro-liberty people will invoke the founding fathers in order to explain people's misinterpretation of the Constitution or Bill of Rights. "No you see, what they meant by that was..."

And of course, the infamous corpses of the founding fathers must be as smooth as a pebbles because they are always rolling in their graves if they could see what was going on today! (The Zombie Founding Father Rock Tumbler Theory) It's likely that if time travel were possible people of 200 years previous to any time in history might be shocked if they could see future society. Or maybe just surprised. Maybe even pleased. They could also be so offended so as to roll in their graves, that is if you could experience future society whilst being a zombie. Perhaps the zombie would rise from the grave, look at how wrong their founding documents have been abused, and then return to the grave to spin their bodies to a smooth finish. I am not sure how it all works.

I am not a student of history, there are things I find interesting of course, but I don't have the discipline to really study it. For those that do I am sure that studying the founding fathers and the time period of the creation of America is very interesting. That isn't the issue, the issue is people arguing that what these guys stood for back then is somehow in conflict to what is going on politically today. Regardless of accuracy, it is more or less just conjecture. Once the time machines get running we can put these issues to rest once and for all. Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson can go on a talk show and argue how present day society reflects what they wanted (with hanging flesh and worms going in and out of their eye sockets for full effect of course!)

People that argue for more restrictive laws will dismiss the Constitution and founding fathers as being old hat and not up to date enough with present day society. They are in favor of the spirit of the law rather than the letter of the law. Again, a real problem with writing any document is that it has to be as objective as possible so that people who hate each other can still agree on what the document says. In my view the founding fathers did a great job, but it certainly isn't perfect. Some bad stuff has been added since. The Sixteenth ammendment anyone? That piece of garbage needs to be repealed with all speed! Congress shall have the power to lay off people's freaggin' income, how about that instead? But then, if we passed that ammendment now the zombie founding fathers would require interpretation for the phrase "lay off"! It all gets so complicated.

2nd Ammendment and Nukes

Numerous factors conspire against the clear message of "people are free, government has got rules to obey" that occurs when modern people read the Bill Of Rights. The second ammendment seems to be the most misunderstood of them all. Pro-gun and anti-gun people both interpret it to suit their own ends. The fact is, the ammendment is a pro-gun one and that needs to be made clearer with a less awkward phrase. Unfortunately it seems impossible to break the paradigm of the anti-gun crowd. Actually this is quite a huge problem in a lot of issues. Too many people don't understand the difference between allowance, tolerance and advocacy. But I digress...that's another post for another time.

So I am going to try and edit the second ammendment in an attempt to make it more objective and less prone to interpretation. This stuff is not an easy task at all, which is why I am only tackling one of them! There are others that could use some touchups as well, but I should go to bed now.
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Amendment II

Well regulated militias are necessary to the security of a free society, therefore the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed. A militia is any group or groups of armed people willing to defend themselves and others from violent aggression and is not necessarily a government agency.

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A clear assertion followed by a rule for government to follow. Less awkward sounding by adding "therefore". I took out the word "state" and replaced it with "society" Both words are abstract concepts, but society is less menacing than state in my opinion. "Country" might be good too. I added the militia definition because people always think militia means a government force like the US Army etc. An armed population is always going to be potentially larger than any formal government army, decentralized and better equipped to fight back invasions where they occur.

...Even though it is merely wishful thinking at this point I must draw the line of weapon\defense rights at nuclear weapons. I don't feel anyone has a right to own a nuclear weapon. Well no, more accurately nobody can possibly justify the use of a nuclear weapon to inflict megadeath! This is of course a silly idea, they exist, the cat's out of the bag. So therefore it is hypocritical for any government with nukes to disallow others from having them. I would love to see every last one of them gone, but it just isn't going to happen. Humanity made the mistake of creating government and creating atomic bombs, and one day government may destroy humanity using such weapons. Let me clarify; if humanity is destroyed at all, it will be at the hands of governments. That much I am certain of. Hopefully neither will happen.

The problem is that unlike everything else, a nuclear weapon is far too powerful to only kill the people who have attacked you. The bigger the bang the more innocent people will be involved and the less legitimate the weapon becomes in principle. A nuclear weapon continutes violating human rights long after the first explosion. It kills more than just the two or more armies fighting a war. When you can blow up entire cities at a time, that degree of force has no legitimacy. How can an entire city of people be that guility? With a gun you can aim it and only kill the asshole trying to kill you. With a nuke you've truly fucked things up big time. Oh boy radiation poisoning, what a lovely thing. We are talking true evil here.

Whiny gun control people want to magically unmake guns, personally I'd rather unmake nukes. *sigh* Everybody likes to fantasize I guess.

Enough Already With The Military Worship!

Folks, I hate to break it to you, but the US Military is not responsible for your freedom. Enough already with the military worship! It's getting silly. Put your flags down for a second and think how ridiculous this idea is. People with guns trained to kill people and blow stuff up, (all funded by a coercive tax system) cannot possibly liberate the human race from any manner of oppression. Ideally, they could protect people from attack. This is known as defense. But the federal government does not know what defense is, they only know what offense is. Big difference. Governments cannot give you freedom, at best they can protect it, but more often they take it away. Governing something and freeing something are very much at odds if you ask me. To regulate and control people is not making them freer, it's making them far less free.

Why not have your warm and fuzzy feelings about peaceful people who offer something of value to the world? You know, people like you and me who go to work everyday? People who create stuff? Wouldn't that make sense? Why not have warm and fuzzy feelings for scientists, teachers, authors, entrepeneurs and such? I am writing this very text as a result of the voluntary efforts of innumerable people with positive, peaceful intentions. Not the US military. Some guy firing a machine gun thousands of miles away did not enter into the equation of me gettng my free butt out of bed this morning. The emotion is misplaced.

If any men with guns made us free today it would have to be the revolutionary army who fought off the British. And that wasn't a government army. That was plain 'ol armed people rising up against an oppressive state. We need to get back to being plain 'ol people and not Citizens of a State.

Let's See How This Thing Works...

Hello, I'm Brother Theodore. (hint: it's actually a pseudonym) The truth is, I hardly know what a blog is. I am just blundering ahead, pushing buttons and clicking links with little forethought. My thoughts starting this were: "What's with this blogging thing? Where are blogs hosted? Who the hell reads them? How do I start writing my own blog anyway? I want to add to the mountain of garbage too!" As it turns out, the internet is crushingly easy to use. These thoughts occured three minutes ago, and here I am already! Nutty.

Anyway, back in my day you signed up with an ISP, got your lousy 5MB of web space and then you made a crappy web page with all sorts of stuff in it that hardly anyone besides you and your immediate friends and family cared about. If even they could humor your verbal diarrhea for more than a few visits. Perhaps blogging is a similar situation, minus the obnoxious web design. Cripes, I remember the days of sweating over beveling buttons in Photoshop...good grief!

In a way my own website had turned into a blog of sorts, (assuming I am correct in my assumption of what a blog is) since I had become so utterly slothful in updating the content of it, I was reduced to just adding new thoughts to the index page alone. Sad, yet true. So perhaps this blog thing is a more efficient vehicle for publicizing internal thoughts out into the vast wasteland of text.

I shall see...