Zombie Founding Fathers Rock Tumbler Theory

U.S. Americans of all politicial views sometimes love to invoke the Founding Fathers as some sort of sacrosanct tool of debate in order to prop up their position. No matter what view people argue for, it's the real or imagined contents of the minds of these men that are apparently more important than what they wrote or the principles contained therein. Lines such as "Do you think the founding fathers had (insert your offensive speech of choice here) in mind when they wrote the first ammendment!?" are invoked when a person wants to argue against free speech and how some things should be off limits. Pro-liberty people will invoke the founding fathers in order to explain people's misinterpretation of the Constitution or Bill of Rights. "No you see, what they meant by that was..."

And of course, the infamous corpses of the founding fathers must be as smooth as a pebbles because they are always rolling in their graves if they could see what was going on today! (The Zombie Founding Father Rock Tumbler Theory) It's likely that if time travel were possible people of 200 years previous to any time in history might be shocked if they could see future society. Or maybe just surprised. Maybe even pleased. They could also be so offended so as to roll in their graves, that is if you could experience future society whilst being a zombie. Perhaps the zombie would rise from the grave, look at how wrong their founding documents have been abused, and then return to the grave to spin their bodies to a smooth finish. I am not sure how it all works.

I am not a student of history, there are things I find interesting of course, but I don't have the discipline to really study it. For those that do I am sure that studying the founding fathers and the time period of the creation of America is very interesting. That isn't the issue, the issue is people arguing that what these guys stood for back then is somehow in conflict to what is going on politically today. Regardless of accuracy, it is more or less just conjecture. Once the time machines get running we can put these issues to rest once and for all. Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson can go on a talk show and argue how present day society reflects what they wanted (with hanging flesh and worms going in and out of their eye sockets for full effect of course!)

People that argue for more restrictive laws will dismiss the Constitution and founding fathers as being old hat and not up to date enough with present day society. They are in favor of the spirit of the law rather than the letter of the law. Again, a real problem with writing any document is that it has to be as objective as possible so that people who hate each other can still agree on what the document says. In my view the founding fathers did a great job, but it certainly isn't perfect. Some bad stuff has been added since. The Sixteenth ammendment anyone? That piece of garbage needs to be repealed with all speed! Congress shall have the power to lay off people's freaggin' income, how about that instead? But then, if we passed that ammendment now the zombie founding fathers would require interpretation for the phrase "lay off"! It all gets so complicated.