Abstinence Makes The Mind Grow Fonder

Everyone likes to give advice to people for things they've done which have worked out. It's only natural to want to share with others. So here's my advice to ya'll:

Stop watching television!

I'm talking about cold turkey here, folks. Cancel the cable subscription, unplug from the wires and just try it for a month or longer, you will start to feel better. Mostly you should stop watching "The News", that's the key, but let's not split hairs, just turn the whole works off. The change will be noticeable.

I noticed that I became less disgruntled when I ceased watching the news. As much as I love technology and all that, one side effect is that everything that comes through that tiny screen becomes magnified in your mind. If you watch a news report about some terrible crime your mind then tells you this is happening everywhere, it could happen to you too! Everything they show you gets amplified. Television is like this incredible machine of mental exaggeration. The media tells you all these horror stories, stuff you're supposed to be terrified of and be on guard against, but the nature of the show does not allow enough time to get the whole story. So your emotions become amplified but your intellect isn't challenged. There's just not enough stuff there to chew on and yet people take it and run off with it.

We don't particularly like the idea of "ignorance is bliss", it certainly doesn't sound like anything to be proud of. Nevertheless, being ignorant of something can indeed allow for some bliss-like feelings to enter the picture. Why do you think children are so damn happy all the time? Because they're ignorant of the drudgery and toil that adults have saddled themselves with. One of these saddles is the news. Here you can watch a little screen and have a whole new reality fed into your brain. But you know that it's not completely fake, you know it does take place in the real world. Or does it? Is the true reality the stock footage left unused inside thounds of Betamax cassettes, footage so boring and dull so as to not be worthy of TV news? That is my suspicion. Instead we are given a far more entertaining and sensational view of the outside world. This is worth watching now isn't it? If people really wanted 'Reality TV' they should watch 8 hours of surveilance camera footage from a gas station security camera. Now that's reality television! But does it fill you with that satisfying fear and righteous anger like the edited news does? Nope.

So turn that crap off! Without a steady diet of outside stimulation being fed into your brain you will be forced to observe your actual physical reality around you. Now you alone can decide what is a big deal and what isn't. Now you will only be concerned with the problems that affect the geographical areas where you choose to go. No more getting angry about something happening in another state. No more being afraid of something that happened far away. Now you can focus on the here and now. It won't be easy to turn away, but you should give it a shot. There will be consequences and side effects. You won't be able to participate as in those TV-centric conversations around the water cooler at work. People will mention celebrity names and you won't know who they're talking about.

True, it might be very frightening turning off your TV set. Your co-workers may start calling you names and spitting on you as you walk by. They may say things like,

"Oh look, here comes Ms. I Don't Watch TV Anymore Because Of Some Guy's Blog! Bitch thinks she's too good for us!"

or "Why don't you go read a book, faggot!"

and even "There he is! Get the tar and feathers! Get out of town you uppity, no-TV-watching jackass! We don't like yer kind around here!" Furthermore, they may beat you with sawed off pipes and broken chair legs until you cough up blood. Burnt effigies, voodoo curses and ritual disembowelment are also common side-effects endured by the TV abstainer.

But do not fear, for these are all things you will have to deal with on the road to true television independence. Aren't you worth it?